Your Business Card is CRAP!

Any serious IBW needs to view this video and seirously consider what thier business card says about them.

Oh Yeah, We Did It!

In the immortal words of Dora the Explora "We did it, we did it, we did it, yeah!"

Lonely? Is that you?

Meet James Randolph...he may just be our pal "Lonely"!!

From the Des Moines Register :

Des Moines police say James Randolph apparently jumps into the river because he likes the attention. It happened again on Tuesday. 

According to police, Randolph, 53, went to the police station to report that drug dealers took his money. He talked with a member of the report unit and then asked to speak with a police officer. 

While waiting for the officer to arrive, Randolph asked for a pen and a piece of paper. On it he wrote the word "river" and he handed it back to a police employee.

Randolph left the police station and officers were notified because he has jumped into the river in the past. "He seems to enjoy the attention he receives from this behavior," officers said in a report. 

Police located him on the bank of the Des Moines River north of City Hall about 11:20 a.m., standing outside the railing. A moment later he was dog-paddling in the river. He was talking and making jokes and then climbed out of the water by himself and began gathering shells, according to a police report.

Police said Randolph climbed up a ladder provided by a rescue team. Officers said Randolph asked if they had gathered up his coat and glasses that he'd left at the river bank. Informed that no one had collected them, Randolph became upset. 

At the emergency room at Broadlawns Medical Center he spit on an officer and told her, "I thought you were my friend." He also threatened her, officers said. 

He was taken to the Polk County Jail where he is being held this morning without bond on charges of disorderly conduct and assault on a police officer.

OMG It's PRINCE!

Ok so for those of you who don't know, a few years back in Vegas Prince him(her)self walked by 2 feet away from us and the only description I have of that moment is that I think I melted. Every other time I've seen a celeb in real life, I have always just laughed nervously while pretending I don't see them so I don't feed their ego.  Not Prince.  I screamed and almost fell to the ground.  Truly a surreal moment that I wasn't sure had actually happened.  

So since then, I've been trying to compile a list of celebs that would garner that same reaction.  Here is a short list that I've compiled so far, and I know I'm forgetting some good ones.  Make suggestions in the comments and then in a couple days we can vote on the celeb that would get the biggest freakout. 

UPDATE!!!

DUH! I forgot Mimi!

Bike Ethan, BIKE!!!!

Meet 15 year old Ethan Johnson from Brisbane, Australia.  Like any normal day, he left home with his bike on his way to school on March 30th.  10 days and 600 miles later he shows up in Sydney suburbs, with no intention of stopping.  Yes, he has a little bit wrong with him, some mild form of aspergers.  But I love that he leaves home, turns off his cell, hits up every Mickey D's he can find and sleeps at truck stops during his massive solo exploration of the Australian countryside.  Apparently he covered 100 miles a day for 6 days straight on his bike and then spent 4 days boppin around the Sydney train network spending his downtime watching dvds of train journeys on his portable player. (what???)

I also love the action shot above, particularly his biking outfit with speed flames on the side.  No shit! He rode 100 miles per day!!!  He's like an out-of-it energizer bunny who was fueled only by the desire to be released from his mom's deathgrip headlock. 

courier mail

Das Polar Bear ATTACK!

By now surely you've all read about the insano polar bear lady who jumped into the Polar Bear enclosure at Berlin zoo during feeding time.  Apparently she jumped a fence, shrubs and a stone wall to get at her fuzzy little babies.  Well the FLBs didn't really have snuggling in mind.  Crazy lady made it all the way over to where the bears were and well, the picture speaks for itself.  

Finally she realizes it's a good idea to get the hell outta there so she goes for the wall where zoopeople have dropped down liferings.  Well, as you can see in the video below, on the first rescue attempt, her fat ass broke the lifesaver.  It finally takes several attempts to get her out while the bears nip at her.  I love crazy people.  

Oh and I believe she was at the zoo on an outing with her husband and kids.  "hey dad, what's mom doing?"

And The Winner Is....

.....It's A TIE!!!!

Spencer Pratt and Scarlett Johannsen!!!  They should be proud of themselves for a lifetime of douchebaggery!  Thanks to all who voted.  I personally wanted to see SP go down in flames, but maybe it's just too obvious.

IBW of the Day

Angela Bower

Angela (or Angel-er as Tony would say) is a top Manhattan advertising executive.  She's a no nonsense business woman who managed to start her own company (Bower and Associates) all the while juggling raising her son Jonathan, keeping the pants on her mother Mona and trying to figure out for years if she loves Tony or just finds him incorrigible!!

Oh Angela, will things ever work out for you?  

"There were times I lost a dream or two, found a trail and at the end was you...there's a path you take and a path not taken, the choice is up to you, my friend.  the nights are long, but you might awaken to a brand new life around the bend"

Also, when I googled Angela, I found this which is really kind of freaky:  

BOWER, Angela

(Who's the Boss)

( KL5-6218

3344 Oak Hills Drive

Fairfield, CT

Angela is an ad agency executive at Wallace and McQuade Advertising, the 12th largest advertising agency in New York City. Now divorced from Michael Bower, Angela shares her two-story cape cod home with her rambunctious son, Jonathan L. Bower and her mother Mona Robinson who lives in a rear apartment.

Born October, 16th 1950, Angela was shy and plump as a youth and played the cello (but very badly). Angela went to Montague Academy and later graduated from Harvard Business School. She drives a Jaguar automobile (license: MX8266). Her favorite color is emerald. Her favorite Beatle song is “Hey, Jude.“ Angela was nominated for the “Matty” for the best commercial of 1986. Ironically that same year, Angela was fired but she soon opened her own company, the Bower Agency in Manhattan. Her mother Mona pitched in to help run the office as Angela built up her client base.

In need of a housekeeper, Angela's mother convinced widower Tony Micelli to apply for the job. After giving the matter careful thought, Angela decided to hire Tony as her live-in housekeeper. Tony’s young daughter, Samantha took up residence, as well.

Throughout all this, Angela’s relationship with her housekeeper Tony eventually turned to true love. During that time Angela’s romantic interests included the handsome Geoffrey Wells; lawyer Jeffrey Michaelson, Esq.; Tony’s cousin Maurizio from Italy who fell in love with Angela; a guy named Christopher; Jake “The Snake,” a former classmate; and while in college, Brian Thomas, whom Angela married as a joke only to discover 20 years later her divorce was never terminated. Angela’s female friends included the sexy but arrogant neighbor Diane Wilmington; Trish, Angela’s old sorority sister; and Angela‘s cousin Christy. When Angela tried to cut loose, she usually got in trouble, like the time Tony invited her to a frat party and she got drunk and ended up in a campus jail.

When Tony was offered a chance to coach at Wells College in Bradford, Iowa, Angela moved to the Midwest to be with her man but after a short time she missed her job and career and moved back to Connecticut. She and Tony carried on a long distance relationship, until Tony realized he could teach anywhere. One night, in 1992, soon after going through a number of housekeepers, Angela opens the front door and sees Tony Micelli dressed in a tuxedo. Tony applies for the job of housekeeper and smiling, Angela asks “So, what are your qualifications?" Tony kisses her passionately and Angela happily tells him “You’ve got the job.” It seems that Angela and Tony were always meant to be. For as children, Angela (in the guise of a girl named Ingrid) unknowingly had met Tony and become friends at Camp Cataba summer camp. It was then that Ingrid (Angela) shared her first kiss with Tony at Kissing Rock.

YIKES!

This is completely insane.  Thank you MK for posting it and I'm totally ganking it sorry.  So the hard hitting investigative reporter shows up to interview costume shop owner Ann Bruno about her alleged cyber stalking of her competitor.  It's SO INSANE!!  I love it to pieces.

p.s.  the black lady with blue hair is the breakout star.  Love her little jig at the very end.

p.s. I'm really really freaked out b/c the bunny costume or whatever it is looks a lot like purple baby (sans the bunny ears).  

Keg Stand! Keg Stand!

If you haven't already heard this song a million times on the radio this week, get ready to be sick of it in approx 5 days.  BUT I LOVE IT!  I can't get it out of my head (and it has literally been on the radio every time I turn the car on).  

The guys who wrote it are genius b/c I'm sure every single college student has downloaded it already.  Not to mention they're such Whiteys!!  It's amazing. 

Oh and they're so fancy, they disabled their embedding....I ain't sceert!

But you'll have to follow the link!

Katie Lee Joel

One of our Infuriation Nation's finest is featured on Perez Hilton today and you don't want to miss it!  She's cheating on Billy!!!

Cowgirl Goes Bridesmaid

So I don't really think this is the same girl as Cowgirl, but I do think it lends support to the belief that Cowgirl could really be a giant and the photo is real.  

I think the photo below is real ... and really really unfortunate.  

Final Tattoo Post

Sorry for beating this theme into the ground.  I just keep finding things that are more and more creepy and bizarre.  I'm working on getting some background/explanation for this.  Although something tells me it's a simple as "she loves cats"  See people this is what cats make you do. 

Mrs. Kittytons

So the internet is full of examples of scary and stupid tattoos.  Once you start looking you just can't stop.  So I just had to add this one on to the earlier post.  

Favorite b/c it definitley looks like a man's foot.  Nice of him to dress Mrs. Kittytons in her sunday best for her big portrait day.  How does he lead a normal life after that?  I mean, I guess you could say the same about any of the people who got their faces tattooed.  But something tells me they weren't leading a normal life to begin with.  This I find more bizarre than any of them.  Even if it was his childhood cat that was his only friend, that doesn't mean he needs to get a picture of her dressed up in old timey church clothes tattoed on his foot.  And honestly mister, i really dont' think Mrs. Kittytons appreciates your dirty toenails.  Get it together!

Giant Cowgirl

Well the votes were 3 to 2 in favor of it being real.  I never voted, but I'm leaning toward real.  This will haunt me forever.  I don't know how I'll ever get any answers.  If anyone ever figures it out please let me know ASAP wtf is happening. Thanks

Tattoos and Mugshots!

Everyone loves mugshots.  Especially when the people are drunk, crying or crazy.  I also love pictures of people with retarded tattoos.  More often than not you find these the same place.  Here are a few goodies. 

This dude is from western MD and was arrested for stealing his own family dog. 

I think he was arrested for huffing spraypaint!!  Might be my favorite of the batch.

Why is git-r-dun man shirtless?  I like that he really used his artistic freedom to choose that olde english script.  

I don't know what to say. 

No one loves a crying hippie. 

Is this Briana, Vicki's daughter from RHOC?

I hate getting busted right when i'm in the middle of getting my hair did.  

New scary trend of getting eyes tattooed on your eyelids.  It's so freaky but I can't stop staring at it!

Awesome trend of getting your favorite snack on your fingers.  Finger tattoos will probably always be my favorite, especially when they say something completely retarded.  

Cadbury Mini Eggs is too long for me to get, but maybe I could just go with Mini Eggs?  Quesadilla is too long. Ugh!  OR I know....if you include the thumb you could do CHIPS & DIP.  The possibilities are endless really.  

Snap!

Also check this out if you have not already seen it 

Timelapse: Franklin Street after the victory from The Daily Tar Heel on Vimeo.

I'm Confused

Ok. I have just stared at this picture for 10 minutes and cannot figure out if it's real or photo-shopped.  It looks so real.  But then if you look at the size of the fridge relative to the Giant, it actually makes it look like the other 3 girls are miniature people.  

Can someone please explain?  Please vote in the sidebar if you think it's real or fake so I can find some solace.  And comment if you have any explanation.  I feel really disturbed by this.

Bacon Cheese Roll? Yes, Please!

I am not embarassed to say that I'm intrigued.  Very very intrigued.  Are you scared that I'm tempted to make this?  Or are you jealous?

Click here to see the full 7 step process.  It's amazing. 

Genius

I'm freaking out!  We need to figure out a way to make this....do you think it's possible in the fry daddy?  How do they get the fries and tots to stick together.  This must have taken years to perfect.  Even knowing that the totdog was made in Korea, my mouth is still watering.....THAT'S how good it looks.  

URL

Infuriation Nation - Showdown!

Last week was pretty tough.  Since it was almost a three way tie with Heigl 4, Johannsen 5 and Dunst 4, I'm going to move ALL THREE to the showdown.  That's how horrible they really are.

So here we go:

Heigl, Spencer, Hayden, Jennifer Love "Size 2" Hewitt, Dunst, Johannsen.  It's going to be so so hard.  Votes on SIDEBAR!

Confucius Say F$%K

This is how I felt today when I waited in line at the car wash for 50 minutes only to pay, pull in and have the damn thing break.  Chinese Lady, I feel your pain.  I kind of wish I knew what she was saying, but then again the effect is so much better when its just pure animal unintelligible Chinese wailing.

The only background I know on this is supposaBly she missed her flight.  

IBW Tribute

Dolly Parton

Dolly is truly an American treasure.  Known as the "iron butterfly" in showbiz circles, there are several examples of what makes Dolly a legendary IBW.  The best example is that she made a vow to never sell the rights to her songs.  Back in the early 70s she wrote and recorded "I Will Always Love You" and it had moderate success.  Around that time, Elvis approached her and said he wanted to record the song.  But there was one catch...Elvis had a policy of owning the writing credits to any song he recorded.  Which was at odds with Dolly's policy of never selling the rights to her songs.  She stood her ground and later said it was one of the toughest things she's ever done, as everyone around her was telling her she was crazy.  But it paid off....as we all know, that song went on to be a massive hit for Whitney in the 90s.  And made Miss Dolly a shitload of money.  Go Dolly!  (and ya, that's a tattoo)

Go!

Go Heels! Go Heels! Goooooooooooooo Heels!

RICHARD!!!!

First of all, apologies for being MIA for the past few days.  I'm not really allowed to explain what happened, but lets just say word to the wise: don't ever cross Star Jones.  

Anyway, I'd like to delve into a topic that has intrigued all of us over the years:  Richard Simmons. So, he's definitely mentally ill, but somehow he is so endearing in his spastic outbursts.  Born in New Orleans in 1948 (yes, he's 60!), he spent most of his childhood and adolescence struggling with his weight (read: morbidly obese).  In the 1970s he began his fitness crusade, losing a ton of weight himself (over 125lbs) and began his lifetime mission of motivating others to live a healthy life. 

You all know all of that already.  What I'm here to Learn you on today is Richard's true passion.  No, I'm not talking fitness, I'm talkin dolls.  Oh yes, Richard is a doll enthusiast, and if you are lucky enough to come across one of his specials on HSN or QVC stop, drop, and watch.  It's amazing. 

I've included some of RS's precious treasures below along with info the doll wrote about him/herself on the website.  What?!  Yes, all of Richard's dolls have names, personalities, likes and dislikes.  That's why it's imperative you watch him present these dolls on his infomercial.  Sorry the pics are so small below but visit here to be thoroughly creeped.  

Webbie Hannah

Hi, I'm Webbie Hannah from California. I'm so glad you could join me! I love to collect buttons! My first button is still my favorite, it's a gold antique flower that came from my grandmother's wedding dress. I keep it on a string with my other favorites. I meet lots of new people everyday while chatting with the Webbies. We get together to visit, and best of all we search websites and chat rooms to find little treasures, like... you know, buttons. My collection of buttons continues to grow but the search must I go on. I've been busy as a bee and could use a little help. Maybe you should join us! I really hope you do. See you then! :-) Webbie Hannah.

Norman

Meet the treasure of my life, Norman. Guess where I met him? On a train! He worked for the railroad company for over 40 years and when he retired he received this brilliant gold watch. He loves to collect old trains and build scenery around them. I think he spends too much time in the basement working on those trains. I have to share him with two things and two things only, the daily crossword puzzles and his train collection. After he is finished with his trains each night, we get to play a good game of dominos before gong to bed, which I always win!

Miss Bea

I'd like to introduce you to Miss Bea. She is Norman's unmarried sister who teaches piano and plays the organ in church regularly. She has three friendly cats: Mr. Belle, Bester Chester and Mr. Theo DeThump. It is rumored that Miss Bea had "a secret admirer" by mail whose identity always remained a family mystery. It is a mystery even to Marge, who generally knows everything. Bea's manners are impeccable. She often keeps her piano students after lessons for lunch or tea, where she demonstrates the proper use of the napkin, or how to hold a cup.

Webbie Debbie

Hi, I’m Webbie Debbie! When my father’s not busy he lets me play on his laptop computer and gosh I meet so many friends! I send e-mails and chat to stay in touch but mostly I look for nail polish. Can you tell? I guess you can call me a collector, my mom says I have too many shades of blue but what’s a girl to do? I’ve me t so many friends who collect like me but different things like marbles, crystals and buttons. I’ll stick to nail polish, but like Daddy says “to each her own”! We call ourselves the Webbies, I’m sure you’ll meet us all real soon for a chat. I can’t wait! :-) Webbie Debbie

Yes, the first pic of WD is clearly from some sort of display in a store or god forbid museum.  Doesn't she in a way kind of remind you of Bette Midler in the mid-70s version of her character in Beaches?

Also I spent longer than I care to admit looking at the doll website and I can't figure out for the life of me who "I" is in all the oldie-people doll write-ups.  "Someone" is speaking in the first person and I can't figure out who it is.  Is it Richard?  Does Richard think he's really twins with Sister Mary Margaret or married to Norman or has a brother named Jake?  Oh Richard.